Are you living through The Big Squeeze right now?

Plus: what cashback actually is, and how to use it

As I was shuffling around our accounts this week, making bank transfers to this childcare facility, booking that sports club, topping up our joint account for another expensive weekly food shop, I thought to myself, “Keeping up with all this feels so hard. Is it supposed to be this hard? Will it always be this hard?”

The answer, I think, is no. I have just turned 34 years old. My husband and I have not long bought a house and this summer, we welcomed our third and final child. We have a big mortgage, high childcare costs. My capacity for work is limited by my need to care for a small baby. My older children do not stop eating. Sometimes, neither my husband nor I have anything left in the tank by the time all of the small people we created are in bed. We order too many takeaways. Convenience is expensive, but sometimes, necessary. Steph Douglas recently wrote about ‘The Rush Hour’ for Grazia, which made me feel so seen - it’s hard to stretch a finite resource as far as modern life requires, whatever that resource might be.

At the same time, it’s also the time of my life when I’m expected to build some stability - to grow some savings, to have a security net. Everything I read would have me believe that, by my mid-thirties, I should be able to feel solid ground beneath my feet - so why is the sensation more akin to a knife edge? There are days when I feel like a tightrope walker, trying to keep myself, my family and my home from plummeting to the depths below.

But all of this is finite. It does not have a defined end date, because our children are unique, individual people, and how much they need from us will change as they grow older. But one day, it is likely that they will be more independent, and we will find ourselves comparatively awash with the resources that now feel so unbelievably stretched. Time, energy and, of course, money. I can’t be certain that it will be easy, but it seems likely that it will be easier.

We are living through The Big Squeeze - not in terms of the economy, which certainly doesn’t help, but in terms of the course of our lives.

To do - and to pay for.

Easing the squeeze

At its worst, this squeeze can feel stifling, suffocating. A boa constrictor of responsibilities you chose to take on, before you knew how close they might come to consuming you. We can start to resent the constant outgoings, envy those with less on their plate, with more freedom to spend, save and invest their money as they choose, rather than battling for scraps in an attempt to feel more stable, more secure.

But the truth is that all of our lives are a muddled concoction of the choices we make and the things over which we have no control. If we have chosen to take on more responsibilities, in the form or children, or pets, or circumstances have transpired to give us responsibilities we didn’t ask for, it can feel, periodically, like there’s not enough to go around. It’s during these times, when the squeeze feels too tight, that we can find ourselves doubting our choices. And, when those choices have resulted in something you love more than life itself, that doubt can result in a lot of shame - even though it’s a very normal, human thing to ponder.

I have found a few things that help:

1. Remembering that this is a season of your life, and change is never far away. In the depths of winter, the cold, and dark and damp seem like they will never subside - but they always, always do. It is not always be this hard, in this specific way. Maybe it will be less hard soon, or maybe the challenges will lie in different places. Either way, that grind you feel? It will end.

2. Thinking of this as the ‘investing phase’ of your life. Yes, you are putting a lot in, and it sometimes feels like too much. But those investments will pay off. The time, effort and money that you are putting into your home, your pension (maybe, I’m currently trying not to think about mine) your children, your pets, your business, your work… they will all pay you back in some way or another. And where you don’t get results, you will get learnings.

3. Finding ways to ‘stealth save’. I wrote about this recently on Instagram - some ways to scramble together some money when saving a bit monthly chunk from your income feels impossible. This helps you to feel like you’re making some small progress, rather than treading water. One of the easiest ways to do this is using cash back, which you can read more about below.

Let’s talk about cashback, shall we?

Cashback is king

For something that can be so useful, cashback can seem, like many elements of personal finance, difficult and complicated. So I wanted to make a definitive guide to using it, outline the different apps that I have, and help you to use it to get you closer to your financial goals:

What is cashback?

Cashback is, simply put, money that you get back after spending. You can find it in some current accounts - notably Chase and Santander 123 - or use apps or desktop software to earn it. Usually, apps will store your cashback in-app until you withdraw it or ‘cash out’, which can help to protect it from being accidentally spent in your current account, as small amounts of money often are.

What apps are there and how do I use them?

At the moment, I use five different cashback apps - sometimes jointly, sometimes in rotation - to cover all my bases. They each work in slightly different ways, and some of them can be used in tandem (see the next section). They are:

TopCashback* is a long-standing cashback service that uses custom link tracking to give you money back on your purchases. Simply sign up, download the app and shop via their link to earn money back. You can cash out once your cashback is marked ‘payable’, and it takes a day or so to reach your account. I’ve been using TopCashback the longest, and earned £400 last year, just by using it on every purchase. If you use my link*, you’ll get £10 extra cashback after you earn your first £10. I use it mostly for insurance, booking travel and accommodation, and considered purchases.

Jam Doughnut* is relatively new on the scene, and uses a gift voucher system to give you instant cashback. This means no waiting for it to be payable, plus you can scan your vouchers in-store, so it’s great for supermarkets and chain restaurants. I was nervous about doing it this way at first, but it works really well - plus it encourages spending cash over credit, as you get a better rate of cashback for vouchers bought via an open banking transfer. Use code WW5D* to get £2 bonus cashback.

Cheddar* works by linking your debit card(s) to their app and allowing purchases you make with their retail partners to track automatically. This is the lowest effort way of earning cashback, as you don’t have to remember to actively ‘use’ it. Cheddar are also testing gift voucher cashback, similar to Jam Doughnut - I look forward to seeing how that pans out. You can use my referral code, FRUGAL1*.

Airtime Rewards* works in a similar way to Cheddar in that it picks up the spending you do on your debit cards - but instead of paying the cash direct to you, it takes it off your mobile phone bill. Used in conjunction with other cashback, this can be really valuable - I’ve only just started using it, but I really like it so far. Use code E3GWEYD4 for a bonus £1 when you sign up and spend on a connected card within 7 days.

Sprive’s Shop with Sprive feature* works in a similar way to Jam Doughnut but, very cleverly, uses the ‘cashback’ earned to directly overpay on your mortgage. This means that, technically, the money you earn back on your purchases is saving you interest on your biggest debt, too. You buy a voucher through the app, like with JD, and use this to pay. You can also use the Sprive* app to overpay small amounts of your mortgage in other ways too - I think it’s a really clever idea and am a big fan.

I’m also hearing news of a couple of others becoming available very soon - I’ll keep you posted as and when they do.

Can I combine them for more cashback?

The short answer is: sometimes. The gift voucher-based tools, like Jam Doughnut and Sprive*, can’t usually be combined with others. This is because, rather than spending directly with the retailer, you buy a voucher to be redeemed. This voucher code will usually invalidate the TopCashback* link and, because you’re not spending directly from your account with the retailer, it won’t be picked up by Cheddar* or Airtime Rewards* for cashback, either. You may still be able to earn the 1% cashback from the Chase current account, though.

However, TopCashaback*, Cheddar* and Airtime Rewards* can sometimes be combined or ‘stacked’ to get a heftier discount. Take this example that recently happened to me by accident:

My spending accounts are linked to Cheddar*, so that it automatically picks up any transactions I make with their partner retailers. I ordered a Green Chef meal box via TopCashback* for £12.60 cashback, and it was picked up by Cheddar* for an additional £6.87 cashback. Along with my new customer discount, that box ended up costing me only around £8 for three meals. Not bad.

Anything to watch out for?

There were a few queries, when I asked for your questions about cashback, related to how these companies make they money. The usual answer is that they get a small commission from the company for each sale that comes through them, and that they charge advertising placement fees for companies to appear on their app, website, or in their marketing materials.

What you definitely should watch out for is any cashback scheme that you have to pay to sign up for. These usually appear after you’ve bought something online, telling you how much you ‘could’ have saved, and encouraging you to sign up. Steer clear of these - you can earn plenty of cashback for free.

So, there you have it - hopefully a fairly definitive guide to cashback. Let me know if you have any questions, though!

Five tweaks to make this week

In addition to spending a little time discovering the potential of cashback to boost your finances, here are a few other things that could help you to find a few extra pennies to save:

1. Check your subscriptions, and cancel any that you aren’t using. Pop your streaming services on a quarterly rotation if you’re into binging box sets, and put what you’re saving each month into a separate pot or account.

2. Sell some stuff! If a big clear out feels too daunting (it does for me), find five things to photograph, list and sell online this week. Next week, I’ll be sharing my best tips for selling, so make sure you subscribe if you aren’t already.

3. Set up an autosaving app like Plum* to save small amounts that you will barely notice. Some members of my community have saved hundreds of pounds this way, even when they’ve really struggled to save in the past.

4. Earn money playing games! Fun app Skedadle* lets you earn real money by playing games in-app - you can cash out and stash this for a rainy day or special occasion.

5. Have one honest conversation with someone about money. Let yourself be uncomfortable and vulnerable, and try not to sit in judgement of the person you’re talking to.

TTFN

I hope this has been valuable - I’m enjoying this pattern of combining a big, abstract theme with a specific, practical guide and think these newsletters will continue this way (until I run out of ideas!) Hope to see you next time.

Clare x